How Leading First Changes Everything

Marlo Villanueva • January 12, 2026

"Let us not wait for other people to come to us and call upon us to do great deeds. Let us instead be the first to summon the rest to the path of honor." — Xenophon

How many times have you had a clear idea of what should happen next—a better process, a needed conversation, a bold initiative—but held back, waiting for someone else to make the move first? Maybe you were waiting for your manager to ask. Or for the "right" person to step up. Or for conditions to be perfect.


The truth most professionals struggle with is this: we've been conditioned to wait for permission, validation, or invitation before we lead. But real leadership—the kind that creates momentum, builds connection, and inspires others—doesn't wait for a title or a formal ask. It begins the moment you decide to go first. Xenophon's ancient wisdom cuts through our modern hesitation: you don't need to be called to greatness. You can be the one who calls others toward it.


In today's organizations, we face a quiet leadership crisis: too many talented, capable people are waiting on the sidelines. Waiting for clarity. Waiting for authority. Waiting for someone else to take the risk.

Meanwhile, teams are stuck in unproductive patterns, cultures drift, and opportunities pass because no one wants to be the first to move. We tell ourselves:

  • "I'm not senior enough to suggest that."
  • "Someone else will handle it."
  • "What if I step forward and no one follows?"


But here's what we often miss: leadership is not positional—it's relational and behavioral. When you choose to go first—to model integrity, courage, or care in a small moment—you create a path that others can follow. You make it safe for someone else to act. You shift the energy in the room.


This matters for anyone who wants to grow as a professional and leader. Going first is how you:

  • Build trust and influence without formal authority
  • Inspire change when systems feel stuck
  • Develop the courage and credibility for bigger leadership moments

And it all begins in the little moments: choosing to speak first in the meeting, offering help before being asked, naming the truth everyone else is avoiding, or simply modeling the behavior you want to see.


Let's introduce a framework I call The First-Move Leadership Model. It's built around the idea that leadership is less about what you say and more about what you're willing to do first—especially when no one is asking you to do it.


The model has three core elements:

  1. See the Need – Notice the gap, the opportunity, or the better path that others may not yet name.
  2. Claim the Choice – Decide that you will act, regardless of your title, regardless of whether anyone asked.
  3. Invite Through Action – Don't just talk about what should happen—model it, and through your example, create a path others can join.


This is not about being loud, forceful, or self-promoting. It's about being the one who moves first—with clarity, with honor, and with the quiet confidence that your example is an invitation.


See the Need

1. The "What's Missing?" Practice
At the start of each week, pause and ask yourself:

  • "What do I see that needs to happen, but no one is naming or owning yet?"

Examples:

  • A difficult conversation that's being avoided
  • A teammate who needs support
  • A process that's broken and draining everyone
  • A value your team claims but isn't living

Write it down. Seeing it clearly is the first step to acting on it.


Claim the Choice

2. Reframe "It's Not My Job" to "I Can Be the First"
When you notice the instinct to say, "That's not my role," or "Someone else should do that," pause and ask instead:

  • "What if I don't need permission to act on this?"
  • "What small, honorable action can I take today—even if no one asked me to?"

You're not overstepping—you're leading through initiative and integrity.


3. The Pre-Meeting Commitment
Before your next meeting, decide on one way you'll go first:

  • You'll ask the hard question no one else is asking.
  • You'll offer appreciation to someone whose work often goes unseen.
  • You'll name the elephant in the room with clarity and kindness.

Write it on a sticky note. Hold yourself to it. One small act of going first changes the tone of the entire conversation.


Invite through Action

4. Lead by Doing, Not Just Saying
Instead of waiting for others to embrace a value or behavior, model it visibly:

  • If you want more transparency, share your own challenges and learnings first.
  • If you want better collaboration, reach across silos and invite others into the work.
  • If you want more accountability, own your mistakes out loud and name what you're learning.

People follow what they see, not just what they hear.


5. The "I'll Go First" Invitation
When you sense hesitation or fear in a group—whether it's a tough project, a risky idea, or a vulnerable conversation—use these powerful words:

  • "I'll go first."
  • "Let me start, and then I'd love to hear from you."
  • "I'll take the first step—who wants to join me?"

This simple phrase does two things: it removes the burden of going first from others, and it makes following feel safer and easier.


6. Recognize and Celebrate Initiative
As a leader or team member, notice when someone goes first—when they take a risk, speak a truth, or model a value without being asked. Name it publicly:

  • "I really appreciated how you stepped up and led that conversation today."
  • "Thank you for being the first to try this new approach—it made it easier for the rest of us."

When you celebrate first-movers, you inspire more people to step forward.


7. Create "Go First" Rituals in Meetings
Build structures that encourage first-mover leadership:

  • Start meetings with: "What's one thing we need to talk about that we're avoiding?"
  • End with: "What's one small action someone could take this week to move us forward—and who's willing to go first?"

These rituals normalize initiative and courage as part of your culture.


8. Choose One Daily "Go First" Moment
Each morning, commit to one small way you'll lead by example that day:

  • Send the difficult email you've been postponing.
  • Offer help to a colleague before they ask.
  • Model the work-life boundary you want to see (log off on time, take a real lunch).
  • Share credit or appreciation publicly.

These micro-moments of going first compound into a reputation for integrity and courage.


You don't need a stage, a title, or a formal invitation to lead. You just need the willingness to go first—to take the first step, speak the first truth, or model the first act of honor. And when you do, something remarkable happens: you create a path. Others see what's possible. The energy shifts. Movement begins.


Xenophon's wisdom is as urgent today as it was millennia ago: don't wait to be called to do great things. Be the one who summons others to something better. Not through grand speeches or dramatic gestures, but through the quiet, steady choice to lead by example—especially in the small, often-overlooked moments of your day.

The little moment before you speak up. The breath before you volunteer. The pause before you model the value you want to see. In those brief seconds, you hold the power to go first. And when you do, you don't just change your own trajectory—you light the path for everyone around you.


Ask yourself today:
"What is one small, honorable action I can take—without waiting to be asked—that might invite others toward something better?"

Then take it. Be the first. And watch what follows.


Recommended Reading

As an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases made through the links on this page.


Stay Tuned with Tune In: Your Go-To for Inspiration and Personal Growth

Join the In Tune community and get exclusive updates on our latest blog posts straight to your inbox! ✨


From mindfulness tips to insights on living a more fulfilling life, we’ve got the tools to help you tune into your best self.


Sign up today and never miss a beat! 🎶

Tune In: The Blog

By Marlo Villanueva January 5, 2026
You don’t need more hours—you need more alignment. Learn how identifying the vital 20% of your goals and activities can help you work less, stress less, and feel more fulfilled by the way you spend your time and energy.
By Marlo Villanueva December 29, 2025
What if your biggest obstacle isn't self-doubt, but fear of your own power? Discover how small, courageous moments can help you stop dimming your light and step fully into the leadership and impact you're capable of.
By Marlo Villanueva December 23, 2025
When we stop fighting reality, we reclaim our power to act. Explore how small moments of acceptance can transform stress into simple, fluid, kind, and courageous action in your life and leadership.