In today’s fast-paced world, networking can feel like a daunting task. Many of us have experienced awkward introductions, forced conversations, or connections that feel purely transactional. But what if networking could be more meaningful? What if, instead of focusing on what we can get, we focused on how we can connect?

Drawing from Barbara Fredrickson's Love 2.0 and Owen Eastwood’s Belonging, this playbook will guide you in creating genuine, fulfilling relationships by embracing common humanity and showing up authentically. By connecting on multiple levels—including shared needs from Maslow's hierarchy of needs—you can create deeper, more meaningful connections that go far beyond the typical networking encounter.

1. Start with a Foundation of Common Humanity

Key Concept: Common Humanity and Positivity Resonance

Barbara Fredrickson’s Love 2.0 explores the idea of "positivity resonance," the shared warmth, empathy, and care that emerge in genuine interactions. Fredrickson reminds us that at the core, we all share a common humanity. We all experience hopes, dreams, challenges, and setbacks. When we approach others with this understanding, networking becomes less about impressing or selling and more about recognizing our shared experiences and values.

Actionable Step: When meeting someone new, start by looking for shared experiences or values. Instead of focusing on what you can get from the interaction, approach it with curiosity and empathy. Think, "How can I learn from this person? What can we discover together?"

Reflection Prompt: How can I show up in a way that honors our shared humanity? What would it look like to truly listen and engage with someone as a fellow human, rather than as a potential connection?

2. Show Up Authentically and Let Go of Perfection

Key Concept: Authenticity and Vulnerability in Belonging

In Belonging, Owen Eastwood emphasizes that authenticity and vulnerability are the foundations of true connection. People can sense when we're trying too hard or being overly polished, and it often creates a barrier rather than a bond. To build real, lasting relationships, it's essential to let go of the need to be perfect and allow others to see your authentic self.

Actionable Step: Embrace vulnerability in your conversations. Share personal stories or insights that reflect who you really are, not just who you think you should be. For example, instead of leading with your job title, talk about something meaningful to you, like a recent experience that challenged or inspired you.

Reflection Prompt: Am I showing up as my true self in my networking interactions? What parts of myself do I feel comfortable sharing, and how can I use those parts to create authentic connections?

3. Connect on Multiple Levels: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Key Concept: Connection Beyond the Surface Level

Networking doesn’t have to be limited to discussions about work or professional aspirations. People have a variety of needs—physical, emotional, social, and self-fulfillment—which means there are countless ways to connect. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can serve as a guide for finding deeper connections beyond the typical small talk.

• Physiological Needs: Connect over shared interests like favorite foods, fitness routines, or even sleep habits. These basic needs are universal and often make for light, relatable conversation starters.
• Safety Needs: Talk about challenges and security in your respective fields. What do you both do to foster stability and growth in uncertain times?
• Social Needs: Tap into the need for belonging. You might ask about someone’s family, friends, or hobbies. Showing genuine interest in their support systems can make your connection more meaningful.
• Esteem Needs: Acknowledge and celebrate achievements. Asking about career milestones, proud moments, or goals shows that you’re interested in their growth, not just their title.
• Self-Actualization: Engage in conversations about passions, life purpose, and personal growth. What drives them? What are their dreams beyond work?

Actionable Step: Try to touch on multiple levels of connection in your conversations. Start with lighter topics, then ease into deeper questions that tap into shared values, dreams, or even challenges.

Reflection Prompt: Am I focusing solely on the professional surface level, or am I opening up conversations that allow for multiple points of connection?

4. Embrace a "Give First" Mindset

Key Concept: Non-Transactional Generosity

Networking often feels transactional because we go into it with expectations. But some of the strongest connections are built when we focus on giving rather than getting. By shifting your mindset to "How can I support this person?" rather than "What can they do for me?", you lay the groundwork for a meaningful, long-term connection.

In Love 2.0, Fredrickson reminds us that positive interactions create an upward spiral—small acts of kindness or support can build positive emotions and foster deeper bonds over time.

Actionable Step: Look for ways to offer value, even in small ways. You might share a helpful resource, introduce them to someone in your network, or simply provide encouragement. Show that you're invested in their growth and success without expecting anything in return.

Reflection Prompt: How can I bring value to this person’s life without focusing on my own gain? What small action could I take to show that I genuinely care about their journey?

5. Practice Active Listening and Be Fully Present

Key Concept: Building Trust Through Presence

True connection requires presence. When you’re truly engaged, listening actively, and responding thoughtfully, you make the other person feel valued. Eastwood emphasizes that belonging is built when people feel seen and heard. In networking, this means putting away distractions and focusing completely on the conversation at hand.

Actionable Step: Practice active listening by paraphrasing what the other person says, asking follow-up questions, and maintaining eye contact. Show that you’re fully present and interested in what they have to say.

Reflection Prompt: Am I fully present when networking, or am I thinking about what I’ll say next? How can I focus more on listening and less on my own agenda?

6. Cultivate Long-Term Relationships Instead of One-Time Connections

Key Concept: Creating a Network of Meaningful Relationships

The most successful networks aren’t built overnight. They’re cultivated over time, with genuine interest and consistent follow-up. Instead of treating networking as a series of one-time exchanges, view it as the beginning of an ongoing relationship. Like Fredrickson’s concept of “positivity resonance,” real connection deepens over multiple interactions.

Actionable Step: Follow up meaningfully after your initial conversation. Share an article, congratulate them on a recent achievement, or schedule a casual coffee catch-up. Show that you value the relationship beyond that first meeting.

Reflection Prompt: How can I nurture this connection over time? What small gestures can I make to show that I value this person and want to support their journey?

Conclusion: Building a Network with Authenticity and Purpose

Networking is about so much more than simply expanding your professional circle. By approaching it with authenticity, empathy, and a focus on common humanity, you can create connections that are truly meaningful. Drawing from Fredrickson’s and Eastwood’s insights, remember to show up as your true self, connect on multiple levels, and embrace a mindset of giving without expecting anything in return.

Takeaway: Networking doesn’t have to be a transactional exchange. When you approach it with purpose, respect, and a genuine interest in others, you not only build a network—you build a community of people who support, inspire, and grow with you. So, the next time you walk into a networking event or meet someone new, remember: show up authentically, connect on multiple levels, and cultivate relationships that enrich both your life and theirs.